things to do to stop being terrible:

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reasons I ship dresden x marcone ironically:

"But those dollar-bill-colored eyes, backed by that cool and nearly passionless soul, had me shaking as I took the stairs back up to my office. I had been stupid. He had surprised me, and the sudden intimacy of the soulgaze had startled and frightened me…" (Storm Front, p. 39)

and also

"My heart pounded in my chest and didn’t slow down even after I recovered my breath. My hair. Johnny Marcone now had a lock of my hair. He could give it to someone who used magic, and use it to do whatever he damn well pleased to me." (Storm Front, p. 226)

theatricalwingnut:

amateurcracksman:

entropysamples:

amateurcracksman:

Yes but how do I know that you’re dating me for my heart and not for my international criminal empire

Because your international criminal empire is what you do, and not who you are.

That is so sweet I might just stab someone

What the fuck tumblr

(via ingloriousheist)

I was going through security, and I almost tried to take the wrong laptop because the guy in front of me had the same one.

… twenty seconds later, the guy behind me did the same thing.

reallyssa said: 17 and 21 =D

17:What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

I’m pretty sure it was Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I was in fourth grade? I went to see it with my best friend and her mom. We were very impressed by Legolas’s shield/skateboard trick. Also when the ent dude Treebeard said “we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say,” he took so long saying it that I had to ask my friend what it was he said. >.< Also I seem to recall we were pretty obsessed with Ents for a while afterwards. Fun times.

21:If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose?

So as people have pointed out, is the question whether I’d choose proficiency in all languages or proficiency with all instruments? Because in that case it’s languages, hands down, because languages are cool, because I’d never have to read another bad translation, aaand because I’m a linguist. :P

But if the question is to pick any one language or any one instrument, I’d have to pick an instrument, because I like learning languages waaay more than I enjoy… being bad at music for long enough to, y’know, get good at it. I would probably pick voice, if that counts, because I already sing all the time and it would be nice to actually hit notes sometimes maybe? But if that doesn’t count, then I would think looong and hard about the accordion, but eventually go with electric guitar, because Ritchie Blackmore.

kat-howard:

itscolossal:

Dramatic Stainless Steel Wire Fairies by Robin Wight

I love how strong and wild they look.

(via grouchythefish)

17,545 notes

Original questions for you.

1: When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last?
2: Would you rather be caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella or a snowstorm without boots?
3: Let's say you have access to a time machine, but it can only go either backward or forward. One or the other. Which do you choose and where do you go?
4: If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick?
5: Tomorrow morning, you wake up in the body of a celebrity, like in a '90s body-swap movie. Who is it? How do they react to your life? What do you do when you're "them"? Would you choose to switch back?
6: Any allergies?
7: What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers?
8: Did you get enough sleep last night?
9: You're the sole witness to a Mafia murder. Witness protection has to set you up with a whole new life in a totally new country. You have to leave everything behind, but you can pick where you move to. Where do you go?
10: If you could star in a biopic about any famous person ever, who would it be?
11: What's the biggest animal you've ever killed? Bugs count.
12: Would you rather have millions of dollars but always feel nauseous when you go outside, or be dirt poor forever but never get sick again in your life?
13: A wizard offers you immortality in exchange for your two front teeth. Do you take it?
14: Could you win the Hunger Games?
15: What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? How about as a teen/adult?
16: Do you bite your nails?
17: What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
18: Do you prefer music with male or female vocalists?
19: You and the love of your life are having a baby, and you get to choose the name! There's only one catch: your partner INSISTS that it be the name of a place, real or fictional. What do you name your baby?
20: If you could reboot or remake any movie, what would it be and who would you cast?
21: If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose?
22: For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing?
23: If you curse loudly and then realize that there are children nearby, what is your reaction?
24: Of what animal are you most afraid?
25: Pizza or oral sex?
26: Without looking them up, can you explain the rules of football? How about Quidditch? What do you think that says about you?
27: You're in the car, switching channels on the radio when you hear a song that makes you go "OH SHIT, THAT'S MY JAM!" What song is it?
28: Have you ever paid to see a Step Up movie? If not, how much would someone have to pay YOU to see a Step Up movie?
29: If you were being executed tonight, what would you choose for your last meal?
30: Have you ever bought an item of clothing because it reminded you of something a fictional character would wear?
31: If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
32: Have you ever been punched in the face?
33: How do you take your ramen noodles?
34: Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before you actually have them?
35: How much black do you wear on a regular basis (not counting funerals)?
36: Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any?
37: If someone offered you a free pet snake, would you take it? It's not dangerous or really big or anything. They're just moving to a place that doesn't allow pets.
38: Do you know how to pronounce the word "pinochle"?
39: Can you think of anything more boring than birdwatching?
40: Are you better with numbers or words?
41: At the movies, do you stay for the credits?
42: Is morality universal or relative?
43: Let's say you're getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiance met?
44: What's the worst name you've ever been called?
45: Would you eat human flesh if it had been harvested and prepared humanely? (Say, from someone brain-dead who had marked him or herself down as an organ donor - same difference, right?)
46: At what age did you stop believing in Santa? Alternately, if you never believed in Santa, did you ever ruin Santa for anyone else?
47: Do you get along better with old people or little kids?
48: If you had to choose, would you rather become a nun/monk or a drug dealer?
49: What's your best bodily feature, objectively speaking?
50: Who is your favorite late night talk show host?